At one point or the other in our life, We have been hurt, betrayed and disappointed by people who claim to love us or have our best interest at heart. The most important thing is how we handle our feelings when it happens.

According to Daley Lama, ”pain is inevitable but suffering is optional”. What he simply means is that we can’t avoid getting hurt or upset but to dwell on the feeling is a choice.

Some years back I  was in a relationship and I felt we were at a point where nothing could shake the relationship, only for me to wake up from that dream with the guy breaking up with me.Let it be known that things were going smoothly with us and I had no inkling probably I would not have been shocked. This experience poisoned me in all areas of my life and I became a bitter person.I just could not let go of the pain and it affected my relationship with my male friend’s. Any time I talked about relationship with friend’s, they could feel my bitterness. I was always reflecting on the past.

“Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead then to look back”

This was pulling me back and dragging me down because I carried my hurt with me.It took me a while to realise that I had to forgive and let go because I was the one paying for it.

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one”

We should realise that by letting go and embracing forgiveness, we are opening ourself up to peace and not. Letting go and forgiveness leads to us becoming less stressed, less anxious and we have a higher self esteem.Compare this to when we are still holding on, we become bitter and this contaminates any relationship we are trying to build. We become so wrapped up in anger and bitterness that we don’t get to enjoy the present.

It might be hard to let go of the bitterness of being hurt and betrayed but it is necessary. Let us also take note that letting go of the past and begining again, is not forgetting the pain that was caused. It simply is forgiving, moving on, living and living again. To hold onto the hurt is to deprive yourself and someone else of the chance of having a great relationship.

Leaving you with words from Steve Maraboli.

“Let go…
    How would your life be different if you learned to let go of things that have already let go of you?
from relationships long gone,to old grudges, to regrets, to all the could’ve and should’ve
to the dead friendships you still hang onto.
Free yourself from the burden of a past you cannot change”

“Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anget.
Simplify your life,
let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present….. today”.



  1. folake says:

    thank God you pointed out that it is not easy to forgive or let go but your points are true.We need to forgive and let go so as to move on to better things.Great post by the way

    Liked by 1 person

  2. thesecretplace says:

    Holding on to hurts from the past is always detrimental to current relationships, you end up taking out the anger on someone who doesn’t deserve it. Well written *thumbsup*


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